The three most powerful words...
“You are forgiven” are the three most difficult, freeing and powerful words ever spoken. I know. I have been there, truly I have. I have been absolutely paralyzed by the fact that I did not think I could ever forgive a particular person for what he had done to me, and not only to me, but to those I loved so dearly. For years I thought I was free, at least for myself, but felt it was unthinkable to “let him off the hook” for the ones I loved. I felt as if I was betraying their pain by forgiving him. And then one day something happened, and it became apparent that I was not the least bit free, not from any of it. Not for me or for them.
But God, in His great mercy showed me the lies that I had believed about forgiveness*.
First Lie:
That I had to do it all by myself. That I had to forgive him. And I knew that I could not. I truly wanted to be able to do that, but it was as if I were on one side of a huge mountain and I had to walk through a dark, winding, narrow, scary passageway to get to the light on the other side and I knew that I did not have the strength nor the know how to do it, so I just didn’t even try. The enemy is so good at keeping us from the light of freedom. He always deals in fear and darkness.
The Truth:
God showed me that all I had to do was be willing to go there, and HE would DO ALL THE REST. He would carry me through. He would forgive when I could not. I just needed to give my feelings to Him, to release them into his far more capable hands and let Him deal with the rest. That was all I had to do. It wasn’t scary. Actually, it was absolutely joyously freeing! And when I did...sweet release, light and peace.
Second Lie:
I honestly thought by holding onto unforgiveness I was doing my loved ones a “favor” as I was showing them that we were all in it together and that somehow this comunale pain was good for us. I thought that it bonded us together and made us stronger.
The Truth:
Boy was that ever a lie. Holding onto unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping in some strange way, that the other person will die. It was killing all of us. Holding onto unforgiveness never helps anyone -- EVER! If you want to bond, bond over being set free! Move forward! Don’t let the enemy lie to you. If you are holding onto unforgiveness you are in BONDAGE. This does NOT make you stronger. It paralyzes and poisons you. Be the first to get set free, and then pray that others will follow in your courageous path of light and life.
I realized these truths about forgiveness after I went to a healing prayer seminar expecting to learn how to pray for a friend who was dying of cancer. I discovered that I was in as bad of shape as she was, only my “cancer” was not noticeable on a CAT scan, because it was eating away at my soul. The speaker said this: “If you cannot ask the person that you are holding unforgiveness against for forgiveness, you are not truly free.”
“How dare he!” I thought! “He has no idea what I have been through.” But the truth is, it does not matter the size of the hurt or the offense. If you are harboring unforgiveness, you are not free.
Get free! This prayer called the “Four Way Forgiveness Prayer” was taught to me at Christian Healing Ministries. I have prayed it many times for myself and with countless other people. I pray it will in some way help you too. If, in the process, you discover you need to go to confession, don’t wait, get free! Confession is like a spiritual spa treatment- exfoliates all the bad and slathers on the grace. God bless you. And may you be set truly free!
"Therefore, if the Son has set you free, then you will truly be free.” John 8:36
Four-Way Forgiveness Prayer